The Pleasure Principle
By Lee Glickstein
On October of 2011, Dr. Doreen Hamilton and I completed our annual certification training for new Speaking Circle facilitators. Our eight participants included two from UK and one each from New Zealand and Canada, so the international flavor was strong.
In four days of listening each other with our eyes in Relational Presence, we cut to the heart of how kindred souls can support each other with tender precision in living our essential magnificence out loud.
While the group was maintaining gentle eye availability nearly 100% of the time, I was painfully aware how eyes are habitually averted in modern times, even among loved ones. And even when engaged, eyes are too often used as weapons of judgment and other forms of separation.
In fact, it's the family history of averted and/or violent eyes shared by many of us that created the performance anxiety in the first place. One of the key purposes of Relational Presence practice is to get "regazed."
I'd say that the gross underuse of the brain's attunement capacity is at the root of the epidemic of non-cooperation in our world, our communities, our businesses, our homes. The retina of the eye is anatomically part of the brain and is the gateway to attunement with other brains. While each brain is as a galaxy unto itself, any two can exquisitely attune and work together when the eyes allow it. This allowance requires, in "moments of truth," a shared gaze where neither person grabs control, but rather are "easygoing in the not knowing" while their brains (and minds) finely calibrate their synergetic interface beyond personality and ego.
I'm curious to know where else besides Speaking Circles is this precise allowance supported.
Clearly, Relational Presence goes way beyond healing stage fright (which it does!) and developing eloquent leadership speaking (which it does!). I see it as no less than the key to unleashing the genius of individuals and groups, to finding one's ideal partners in co-creativity, and to launching successful, pleasurable businesses.
And what about world peace? Well, we do have the brains for that.
© Copyright 2011, Lee Glickstein. All rights reserved.